I was conducting a roundup of stuff that is no longer of use to our family, so that it could be donated to those that it may be of use to. This particular roundup was quite successful, yielding seven boxes of stuff. Mainly clothes, books, and shoes that had served their purpose for us, or never ended up fulfilling the purpose we’d had in mind when they were purchased.

As is always the case during a stuff roundup, one always comes across things that have managed to be forgotten or misplaced for whatever reason. A forgotten box of photo albums can quickly put a stuff roundup on hold. An hour can easily pass as you find yourself standing over a box of memories, misty-eyed with nostalgia, flipping through pages of photos from when the kids were little, and loved ones lost were still among us.

This roundup had plenty of that. So it goes.

In a box marked “Jackson’s Room”, I came across a book “The Dangerous Book for Boys” by Conn and Hal Iggulden, that we had given Jackson back in 2007 for his 8th birthday. Jackson turns 21 in a few weeks, not a boy anymore, at least not as far as the world outside of his mom and dad is concerned. He’ll of course always be our boy.

I had written a note to Jackson on the inside cover the book. A note that I had forgotten I had written. It went like this…

Inside every boy lies the man they are destined to be. Inside every man lies the boy they once were. Enjoy being a boy. Enjoy becoming a man. Enjoy being a man. In short, enjoy the journey of life and all the adventures it offers you. If it ever appears that there are no adventures, look harder, they are always there, or they can be created. As you grow into manhood don’t leave the boy behind, you’ll need him. You’ll need him to see all that is good in life. You’ll need him to see the joy of life. A man always needs to keep the little boy in him alive…always. I wish you the best of life. I wish to share in your life, and you in mine. You are my son, my little boy…always. Love Dad.

As Jackson approaches his 21st birthday, my wishes for him remain the same as they were when he turned 8, and I suspect the same will be true for all his years to come. If the chronology of life goes as planned, I won’t always be around to share in his life, that is supposed to be the way of it I suppose.

We only get to have and to hold for so long in life. We can’t have everything, and we shouldn’t hold so tightly that it stifles the growth and development of those within the orbit of our lives. A loose grip is much less fatiguing for all involved, and can be maintained longer with much less effort and angst.

Bit-by-bit, day-by-day, year-by-year…our grip on Jacksons life has gradually loosened more and more, but we’re within reach if he needs us…or, more likely, we need him.

Happy Birthday Jackson. We love you young man.