I hope this column finds you well, or at least well enough. Our varying degrees of well are dependent upon a variety of factors, some of which we can control, and some of which we cannot. As is the case for each of us simmering in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, hoping not to boil over into unwell.

If you are unaware of this pandemic, you have most likely been unwittingly exercising one of the major preventative measures associated with it, social distancing.

Social distancing is a term used by Public Health officials when measures need to be taken to slow the spread of an infectious disease. These measures include limiting or eliminating large social gatherings and staying outside the “spray-zone” of the sacks of germs you may be in the proximity of.

“Official” Public Health officials don’t use the term “spray-zone” or “sacks of germs” when addressing the public, but as a very unofficial official in the realm of public health, I feel they are useful descriptors that paint an appropriate pandemic stifling picture.

The airborne spray-zone, that us sacks of germs are capable of propelling this particular virus, has been determined to be around 6 to 10 feet. These calculations are heavily dependent upon wind speed and direction, the height of the sprayer in relation to the sprayed, and the slobberyness of the sprayer. We owe a debt of gratitude to those handed a tape measure and tasked with making these calculations.

If social distancing is a foreign concept to you, I suggest you contact the introverts in your life for a bit of advice. Text or email is the preferred method of communication, but if you’re in a pinch, a phone call may be permissible…but text before you call.

I always suspected that introverts would one day be called upon to save the world from ruin. Limited social gatherings…can do. Social distancing…be still my heart.

We’re not completely anti-social, more so, selectively social, and we don’t dislike the majority of our fellow sacks of germs in appropriate amounts, at the appropriate distance, 6 to 10 feet for example.

This pandemic, like those that have come before, will come and go…and come and go…and come and go… We each need to do our part to limit the societal impact of these viruses when they come, so that when they go, fewer people go with them.

As Dr. Michael Osterholm, the Director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy (an official Public Health official), wrote in his book Deadliest Enemy, “If you prevent something from happening because of your actions, you’ll always be second-guessed as to whether the action was necessary. On the other hand, if you don’t act on the information you have and an outbreak occurs, you will be burned at the stake by the media and elected officials.”

Consult a credible source and act. Act reasonably, act logically, and be kind. We’re all in this together…6 to 10 feet apart together.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Say it, don’t spray it. Ya filthy sack of germs.