There are many edges in life. Some we approach knowingly, willingly, courageously and others unwittingly, blindly. Most have moments of choice involved, a moment when we decide to move towards or away from the edge. Sometimes we recognize that choice, and choose to move forward, move a bit closer to the edge, to a place that forces us to grow forces us to be a better version of ourselves. Sometimes we don’t see the edge coming, and as we move towards it we feel ourselves moving away from ourselves, away from those we love, away from what could produce that better version of ourselves. How do we know what edges to move towards, and what edges to step back from? Intuition, experience, a willingness to listen to those that have toed those very same edges in their lives? Hard to say, hard to get it wrong. Life is hard, harder for some than others, but hard just the same. It’s not that the life of others doesn’t matter, it’s that your life, your edges, need to matter a bit more. For if you fall, if the edge takes you away, you can’t be there for others. Finding love can take you to the edge, an edge that is uncertain, an edge that makes you want to be someone for the sake of someone else. Being a parent can take you to the edge. It can move you further than you ever thought you were capable of moving. Sometimes these two edges, the edge of that one we fell for, and that edge of parenthood can seem to be on opposite sides of the same mountain top. We lose sight of one for the other, we can’t approach two edges at the same time. As we move towards one, we move away from the other. Or so it would seem. When approached with clarity one can see that they can be the same edge, but clarity is generally in short supply while mired in the fog of the day-to-day. The kids need to be taken here and there, meals need to served, dishes need to be done, the life needs to appear somewhat in order. The one we love has needs as well, the need to not be pushed to the edges of the life they were once the center of. It’s easy to lose sight of that in the fog of the day-to-day. Someday, someday sooner than imaginable, the children will begin pushing towards their own edges, and we must let them push without pull. If we pull excessively they will push harder than is necessary, and when our grip slips, they will fall harder and further than if they were allowed to approach the edge on their own. On their own, but knowing they can turn back anytime and ask for help, ask us to steady them, ask us which edges should be explored and which should be avoided or stepped lightly towards. Let them step towards their edges, loosen your grip on them, and take that opportunity to tightly grab the hand of your love and stride towards your edges. The edges you talked of many years ago before the day-to-day fog moved in. Those edges are still there, and hopefully, so are the two of you.