As some of you may know, and just the same, some of you may not, my wife graduated with her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from the University of South Dakota in Vermillion a few years back. May of 2008, to be somewhat exact, and to be exactly exact, she is a fine physical therapist. Caring, kind, and considerate with her patients to be even more exact. Exactly what one who finds themselves in need of physical therapy would want. Exactly.

When you find yourself a graduate of a university, as my wife and I have been fortunate enough to find ourselves a time or two or three, aside from receiving student loan bills in the mail each and every month (for many months to come) you also receive a nice monthly newsletter from the university. A newsletter highlighting the comings, goings, and accomplishments of the various alumni and updates on improvements being made to the university (compliments of your student loan payments).

I always enjoy reading these newsletters and keeping up on the shiny new stuff we’re contributing to the university for the enjoyment and benefit of the never ending flow of shiny new students. In each newsletter is an “In Memoriam” section devoted to alumni that have passed on and, I guess you could say, paid their final installment. Some of these alumni graduated long ago and sadly some not so long ago, such is life.

In the latest newsletter I noticed a “Corrections” notice at the end of the “In Memoriam” section that stated that in the previous newsletter a certain alumni, “was listed in error as deceased in our last issue” and it went on to say that, “We regret the error.” Both of these statements made me laugh out loud (LOL for you youngins). A response that I assure you is not a regular occurrence when I read the “In Memoriam” section.

First off, it struck me as humorous to think of the reaction the individual “listed in error” must have had when they read that they were no longer residing on the ground level of this world. It reminded me of that old chestnut from Mark Twain, “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” Humor struck me a second time (it tends to strike me at regular intervals and at inappropriate times) with the idea that the university “regretted the error”.

Would the university have rather not made the error that they regretted? Was the individual such a delinquent student during his time at the university that they would have preferred to have correctly listed him as deceased? I’m fairly positive that the individual in question didn’t “regret the error” and was probably quite relieved to find himself “listed in error”. Did it take any convincing on behalf of his loved ones that he was indeed “listed in error”?

Maybe he was relieved for a moment. I could see him tossing the newsletter on the coffee table, sinking back in his chair and with a sigh, exclaiming, “Finally, no more student loan payments, no more calls from the alumni association pandering for funds to build an addition onto the butterfly arboretum or stock the cafeteria with gluten-free pancakes. I’m free to move on with my life (or death as seemed to be).”

May you all be “listed in error” for many…many newsletters to come. Take care.