I was at the grocery store the other day leisurely strolling through the aisles, reading labels on this and that as I searched for the various items I had come for. I knew where the items could generally be found in the store but I was in no particular hurry to gather them up and haul them out to my car in the brisk weather that has found us. As I sauntered about I could hear the familiar sound of parental-child interactions occurring in and around each of the aisles I perused.

Each interaction had its own tone and unique flavor but all possessed the common element of a kid trying to get their parent or parents to buy them something. By “trying” I mean shamelessly begging as if their entire existence were dependent on them having whatever the item of desire was at that particular time and place. The time, place, and item didn’t seem to matter much to the little beggars as I heard the same wee negotiators spinning their hard luck yarns in various aisles throughout the store for various items.

To the casual observer these interactions are always interesting and amusing to various degrees. Especially to us casual observers who have been on the receiving end of a little one’s pleas for a fifty pound bag of candy and a toy that’ll be lost or broken before you get home. To the casual observer that has never been in the trenches with the fruit of their loins the entire scene may seem ridiculous. “Just tell them no. How hard is it? No, end of story…that’s what I would do.” That’s what you would do? Lay down the law…conversation over. How quaint.

Why didn’t the parents think of that? The casual observers that have been beaten down and berated a time or two by those they gave life to are very aware that the parents have most likely already said, “No” to the child 364,215 times in the last 5 minutes. Also, we understand that this confrontation has probably been brewing all day long and what we are witnessing is that boiling over point. The point where the parent has had enough and the kid knows they are walking that fine line between the parent cracking and giving in to the incessant begging or cracking and leaving a full cart in the aisle.

As a parent on the ropes I’ve cracked and fallen both directions a time or two. Some days you’re just not up to the battle and give in to the little fascists but other days you hold the line like a champ and go home with only the items you intended to buy. Now that our kids are older these battles are behind us…that war is over…and like many old veterans I miss the fight.

When you’re in your 20s and 30s, earhole deep in the thick of making a go at life, raising kids, and still growing up yourself, you could never fathom that one day you would only be ankle deep and wishing you could jump back in.

A parent in the trenches doesn’t care to hear, “You’ll miss this someday” from an old veteran of the parent-child wars that has spent the last hour leisurely comparing carbohydrate levels in various brands of ketchup. A parent in the trenches only hears those relentless little voices begging, pleading, and prodding. They’ll miss it someday…not today…but someday.