Well here we are…another Spring valiantly attempting to roll into the Dakota’s. Spring always seems to bring snow here in the Black Hills. Heavy wet snow that bends branches, bows power lines, and buoys the hopes of children that they will awaken to reports that school has been cancelled. A snow day is pure magic to a kid.

Of snow day’s the most prized and sought after would have to be a Monday snow day. A Monday snow day is like a last minute phone call from the governor right before the switch was thrown on “Old Sparky” for some heinous crime you were wrongfully convicted of.

A Monday snow day where you’re mom wakes you from a fitful dream where you’re standing in front of your 5th grade classmates attempting to give a report on the migratory patterns of whooping cranes when you look at your reflection in the window of the classroom and discover that you’re wearing nothing but your great grandma’s underwear and a pair of rubber wellies.

None of your classmates seem to notice so you attempt to carry on with the presentation as planned but there’s not much waist band left to speak of in your great grandmother’s skivvies. She was of that generation who believed the phrase “waste not want not” applied to everything which has left you with waist not.

To receive full points the report had to have a demonstration component but try as you may you cannot properly demonstrate whooping crane wing dynamics because you only dare remove one hand from the waist band at a time. The teacher is obviously not pleased with your one winged whooping crane demonstration and a nervous flop sweat overcomes you and you can feel your rubber wellies slowly filling with sweat as you flap and whoop…whoop and flap.

You’ve been hovering around a “B” all semester but if you can pull off an “A” you’re dad has promised to buy you a new BMX Coast King. You would like nothing more because your old bike was backed over by your drunken uncle and you’ve been forced to ride your little sister’s My Little Pony banana bike with the sparkly handle bar tassels and pink basket that she insists remain forever full of My Little Ponies and My Little Pony accessories.

With the new BMX Coast King clouding your judgment you decide to just go for it and give a proper whooping crane wind dynamics demonstration. Exactly what you feared would happen if your waist band was left unattended has happened. You know this because you’ve sensed a breeze in places you weren’t sensing one previously. This fact has managed to gain the attention of your classmates and as they laugh and point you turn to run out of the classroom.

As you turn to run you find that one cannot run fast or far with undergarments around their ankles and you slowly totter towards the ground still whooping and flapping for that “A”. As you hit the ground the sweat from your rubber wellies sends a warm wave up the backs of your legs and then suddenly you’re awake.

You’re awake and your mother is telling you that school has been canceled. The words, “school has been cancelled” slowly register and you realize that you have more time to prepare your report on the migratory patterns of whooping cranes. You also realize that you should have listened to your mother and not drank that huge glass of Tang before you went to bed. So it goes.

Happy Spring.