As you dawdle about in full holiday hustle mode diligently checking the “To Do’s and To Get’s” off your lengthy list of loved ones wants, needs, and must haves keep in mind that the best gift of all is the gift of time. Maybe that’s why we buy gifts, so people will be forced to spend time with us in order to receive, open, and act like they adore whatever it is you’ve presented them with. Buying time.

The amount of time you spent thoughtfully looking for a gift, wrapping the gift, transporting the gift, and presenting the gift should be accurately recorded on the “To and From” tag so the gift recipient is well aware of how much time you are owed from them. In fact, the gift recipient is not allowed to open the gift until the time you have bought has elapsed. During the time you bought fair and square the gift recipient must commit their full undivided attention to you.

The use of any and all electronic devices during this time is strictly prohibited unless an exception is agreed upon by the gifter. This prohibition on electronic devices does not include anything medical in nature, such as pacemakers, hearing aids, respirators, defibrillators, so forth and so on. This clause on medical devices is necessary to prevent gifters from utilizing the process of buying time to bring about the demise of the giftee. This would be “killing time” which may be entirely justified in some cases but is generally frowned upon during the holidays.

I think if this “buying time” idea were to be instituted it would completely change the holiday shopping and gift giving experience. It may prompt you to hustle a bit when looking for gifts for that certain somebody. “Merry Christmas, you only owe me seven seconds so rip that sucker open so we can start the timer…of course I like you I just know how busy you are and all so I didn’t want to take up a bunch of your time. Oh, you have a gift for me as well? How nice. You traveled to Shanghai in a row boat to get my present? I owe you 3 years…you shouldn’t have…you really shouldn’t have.”

Yes I’m aware this buying time concept has a few glitches that need to be worked out before a full society wide launch. Is a pat on the back considered a gift? How about a nod of the head as you meet someone on the highway? Have comfort in knowing that if you don’t really care to spend time with someone most likely the feeling is mutual. Not everyone can like everyone can they? Nobody could possibly have time for that.

If “buying time” doesn’t strike your fancy or seems to complex, complicated, and fraught with pitfalls “time shares” may be of interest to you and yours. Not the overpriced, dingy, run down, time share in Topeka you invested in one night while experimenting with the moonshine still your mother-in-law won at the “No Shave November Quarterback Club Beardathon”.

Sharing time with friends and family is what the holidays are about. No gifts necessary. An extensive chin wag or a slight nod…like will be returned with like whether you like it or not. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.