At the beginning of April some halfwit loony wrote a column in this very newspaper blathering about the numerous outdoor pursuits being enjoyed in the balmy snowless landscape of the Black Hills area. Lawn mowing, baseball playing, sun bathing, and on and on and on, beautiful weather this…and you have so much snow in North Dakota that… and he just wouldn’t stop.

Cosmic justice has a way of seeking out the moronic and providing a swift kick to the undercarriage as a refresher on who’s on top of the organizational chart. You’ve seen the organizational chart with lines leading from one person to another representative of that particular organizations hierarchy from head to hiney.

Being perched atop that hierarchy doesn’t necessarily mean one knows their head from their hiney but it does generally mean that your shoes are cobbled from exotic animal remnants and your cuff links could be traded in for a semester or two of quality higher education. But I digress.

So shortly after the previously mentioned column that gushed relentlessly about our meteorological bliss was being used to line the bottom of your birdcage a little winter came our way. Oh not an Upstate North Dakota winter but snow anyway…and lots of it. In the month of April Rapid City received about 45 inches of snow. Generally we get about 40 inches of snow the entire winter.

Yes I am well aware no sympathy will be riding our way on the winds of the next Alberta Clipper that whips your wigs off in Burke County but I just wanted to let you know that karma did not fail to deliver a cold backhand to the above mentioned halfwit loony.

I would appreciate it if you kept quiet about my good weather brag fest though as they are looking for someone to blame for the unseasonable white washing we got. There are a lot of parents that got stuck with stir crazy kids during a few days of missed school and cancelled activities that would line up to choke the chump responsible for that mess.

Snow day…words that’ll make you kids face hurt from smiling. I don’t remember getting very many snow days during my formative years in public school on the frozen tundra. I remember one time they called off school because of minus 100 wind chills. That sounded cold so my brother and I decided to venture outside to see what all the fuss was about. I don’t remember our mom trying to dissuade us from going outside…I think she helped get our boots on and I think I heard the door lock behind us.

What I know is that minus 100 was cold. You had to take in short breaths to keep the searing cold from making you hack like a Marlboro man. This of course became a competition between dimwitted brothers. Who can breathe in the longest and hardest without being dropped to a knee by a coughing fit? Dumb? Yeah I suppose but pretty low on the hierarchy of our stupidity chart. Our stupidity knew no limits.

Happy May Day my friends.