What If
NEWS FLASH: Latest Statistics Reveal “Parenting Gig Not for Faint of Heart.” Roughly 327% of parents interviewed stated in various ways and words that parenthood is similar to dodging bolts of lightning while treading water in shark infested waters with your pockets stuffed with raw meat. Similar, but more difficult, more dangerous, and more frightening.
Last week my children and my father-in-law were involved in rollover accident while returning to Rapid City after a few days of fishing and fun with Grandpa on the other side of the state. Everyone got banged up to varying degrees but are, for the most part, okay and on the mend. It could have been much worse but everyone was wearing their seatbelts. My son buckled up a few minutes before the accident.
I was roaming around in the Badlands, out of cell phone range, when the accident occurred. My good friend Paul came and found me and let me know that there had been an accident and provided what little information he had at the time. Being the optimistic sort I immediately assumed the best case scenario and relied heavily on the “bad things happen to other people” mind set.
As I drove out of the Badlands and the reception from civilization gradually bumped the bars upward on my cell phone I listened to the several messages that had been left while I was briefly removed from contact. In short order I realized that something serious had indeed happened to our family. Nothing prepares a parent to deal with this sort of thing and even after learning that everyone was okay my mind ran circles around itself.
Even after I saw my children, spoke with them, and had confirmation that they were going to be okay I couldn’t stop the “what if” thoughts from entering and shaking me up. What if they hadn’t been wearing seatbelts, what if the cuts had been deeper, what if, what if, what if. The “what if” thoughts come and go and when they come they bring along emotions and feelings that are overwhelming and indistinguishable from reality.
I’m sure in time the edge of the “what ifs” will dull and they won’t cut as deep but I doubt they will ever completely subside. I suspect all involved will be changed to varying degrees for a very long time. My children lost some childhood innocents that day and were put in a very serious situation without the availability of the usual safety net provided by their mother and father.
We can’t always be there for our children but if we teach them the simple things through our words and our actions, such as the importance of a seatbelt, our protective reach can extend to wherever life takes them.
I don’t like to think about what would have happened if my wife and I hadn’t been so diligent throughout the years in expressing the importance of always buckling up to our children. I don’t like to think about it but I do and it’s not pleasant.
Buckle up so those that care about you can cry with you not for you.