As Mark Twain once said, and many have said since, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” Those words crossed my mind when I first read about the “Piggy Back Bandit” in a newspaper article a few weeks ago. I have a disorder that makes me laugh at inappropriate times or at least what is deemed inappropriate by a statistical majority of the adult population.

When I first read the story about the Piggy Back Bandit I thought, after a less than mild chuckle, that this may be one of those inappropriate times and that there may be something more to the story. Something darker and more sinister that would make me regret chortling over the issue, but so far nothing dastardly has turned up so for now I feel vindicated of all counts of inappropriate laughter.

Oh I’m sure there are still those that feel this is a very serious matter; the same that feel most every matter is serious. I know who you are. I’ve seen you frown in my direction while I’m struggling to overcome my above mentioned disorder. Have you no compassion for the disordered?

For those who may have missed this little nugget of news allow me to fill you in on the exploits of the Piggy Back Bandit. First of all, I must inform you that Piggy Back Bandit is not the Christian name his parents picked out of their “10,007 Baby Names” book. If it were his given name it would be a simple case of a young man trying to live up to his name. But it’s not so this isn’t a simple case, it’s a strange case, stranger than fiction.

It seems Sherwin “Piggy Back Bandit” Shayegan has spent the last few years making impromptu visits to high school sporting events to solicit piggy back rides from high school athletes. The 28-year-old entrepreneur founded his “business” in Washington and then expanded east collecting piggy back rides and the ire of high school sports officials in Oregon, Montana, North Dakota, and Minnesota.

A Montana high school sports official was quoted as saying, “What’s disturbing to me is that he is jumping on our young athletes, he is 240 pounds, and he can hurt someone.” What’s disturbing to me is that that’s all he finds disturbing. So if Sherwin coupled a reduced calorie diet with a strenuous regime of daily calisthenics and lost 70 pounds his actions wouldn’t be disturbing? In the event I have the urge to pick up a new hobby I would like to know the optimum non-disturbing weight for a piggy back bandit.

Before you pass judgment on misunderstood and mildly misguided Sherwin know that he is not a free loading piggy back rider. His general mode of operation is to gain close access to the team, he prefers basketball, by taking on the role of water boy. Once the game is over and his water boy duties have been completed he asks for his hard earned wages in his favorite form of currency, the piggy back ride.

Have your free loading kids ever offered you anything in exchange for all the piggy back rides you’ve dished out to them over the years? I need to go get an oil change tomorrow so when the guy finishes up and hands me the bill I’m just going to tell him to hop on. We’ll settle up piggy back bandit style…if he’s under 240 pounds…otherwise it would be disturbing.