“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Have you ever responded to someone’s questioning of “why” you did something with that sentence? Have you ever asked yourself “why” you’re doing something at real inopportune moment?

An inopportune moment such as finding yourself 300 yards out in the middle of a lake without a paddle or a boat for that matter. I tried my first triathlon this weekend and half way through the swim a voice in my head asked, “What are doing out here?” This voice is different from the other voices in my head, this one isn’t crazy.

It’s not crazy but it has really poor timing. It only speaks up when I’m in the middle of something like this. I heard it when I was at mile 23 of the marathon I ran a few years back, it piped up last year when I was “attempting” to ride across South Dakota in less than 48 hours, and now when I’m in the middle of a 600 yard swim for my first triathlon.

This voice sits idly by while its half wit brothers are coxing me to sign up for these events. This voice doesn’t say a word during the endless training for these events, but the half wits are ever present with their senseless encouragement. This voice is away at mime school while the half wits are singing “Eye of the Tiger” and trumping up my feelings to make me think that I’m an athlete not a 30ish guy with thinning hair and the swimming ability of a box hammers.

No this voice just sits and waits until I’m in no position to argue with it. This weekend I decided not to argue, not to explain, not to try and justify, I politely told it to leave me alone. I heard some muffled screams from it as the half wits lined up to give it farewell wedgies. Waistband ripping wedgies by the sound of it.

With it gone I decided that as long as I was in the middle of a lake and I had just trained for 4 months I might as well keep swimming. Well the “real” triathletes called what they were doing “swimming” I called what I was doing “not drowning.”

So after not drowning for 600 yards I emerged from the lake moving like an 90 year old man wearing a half dozen soiled Depends. I trotted to my bike that was waiting patiently with the other “not drowning” type swimmers bikes. Crawled on my bike waved and smiled at my family, thanked the crazy voices for getting me to dry land, and headed out for a 15 mile bike ride.

The biking portion was enjoyable; I was able to catch a few of the people that went by me in the water. Some of which had been kind enough to ask if I was all right as they swam by. Hard to talk when your gurgling lake water.

With the biking portion done I parked my trusty stead, strapped on my running shoes and headed out for a 3.2 mile run. The first 2 miles didn’t go so well. I think the lake water and whatever the nearby cows had deposited in it was beginning to upset my stomach. I gave myself a little pep talk and begged the “crazies” for some senseless encouragement.

With the “other” voice at the bottom of the lake I was free to listen to the half wits tell me that if I ran faster I would get done sooner. They’ve gotten me a long way in life so with the end in sight I was like a horse heading for the barn. Except for horses breath quieter and probably don’t smell as bad as I did at that point and time.

To make a long story short; I finished and me and the half wits are enjoying life without the other voice and it’s annoying questions. “Why are you doing this?” Because I can, besides age can’t catch me if I keep moving…..right?

Happy Fathers Day to the men that have made me the man I am, voices and all.