Homer Who
We moved my wife to Vermillion South Dakota this past weekend. She finally pushed me too far so I told her to gather her things and get out. A man can only take so much, I mean I’ve been taking out the garbage since I was 8 years old.
Do you have any idea how many bags of garbage that is? Neither do I, I was hoping you could tell me. I’m sure it’s a lot. Why me? Is it because I have no sense of smell? Yeah that’s what I thought, pick on the handicap guy.
For those of you that may not know I was born with no sense of smell. It seems that my mother was exposed to the fumes emitted from a 1969 Plymouth Road Runner while she was pregnant with me. Plymouth has since addressed the problem and to my knowledge no other child has had to suffer as I have.
Back to me putting my foot down with my wife. Actually if I were to put my foot down she would more than likely put hers up.
Dawn recently got accepted into the Doctorate of Physical Therapy Program at the University of South Dakota in Vermillion. It is a 3 year program, the first two years are classes at Vermillion and then a year of clinicals which she can do in Rapid City.
Those of you with knowledge of South Dakota geography or access to a Rand McNally can see that Rapid City and Vermillion are not in close proximity to each other. About 400 miles separates them.
Now how many of you are thinking that you would like to send your spouse to live 400 miles away for a few years? Not me that’s for sure. I like to have my wife close all the time so I can hear her scoff and giggle every time I mess up. Have her right there so she can slap my hand when I’m trying to write a check for a life sized statue of Jimmy Buffet that plays Margarittiville when you pull his finger.
For all concerned parties we’re going to see how it goes with her being there and me being in Rapid City, raising the kids. That’s right, I will be solely responsible for the upbringing of two young impressionable little people. Don’t breathe a word of this to Oprah or Dr. Phil.
What could go wrong? I like them, they appear to like me, we’ll have a little competition to see who grows up first. The smart money is on Sierra. I’m not an oaf like the sitcom dad’s, I am perfectly capable of handling this. Actually Sierra once told me after watching an episode of the ‘Simpson’s’ that I was a much better dad than Homer.
“A much better dad than Homer.” Do you need a better vote of confidence than that? Other than crying herself to sleep at night while muttering prayers for our children Dawn seems okay with it too.
I’m very proud of my wife and I know she’ll make an exceptional physical therapist. I also know that this is going to be a challenge for all of us, but I’m confident that with the love and support of our family and friends we’ll get through just fine.