What did all you proud Papa’s get for Fathers Day from your herd of sticky fingered yard apes? Ferrari? Private Jet? Tickets to see Jimmy Buffet? Personal masseuse?

Or maybe your just admiring the card your kids worked on for hours, mostly without fighting, that expresses their love for their Dad. That’s what I’m doing, I mean the other stuff was on my list, but somehow that list has been modified through the years. It’s sort of the same, except better.

A mini-van complete with in-flight meals and a little Buffet, or Muffet as the kids refer to him as, blaring from the CD player. Just the way I like it. As for the masseuse, well I rub my temples on occasion as I clench my jaw desperately searching for a way to end the sibling bickering that has been going on for about the last 900 miles. My favorite method is cranking up the radio, I call it volume intervention.

My Dad opted for the “stuff on the brakes method” which is also quite effective. Its hard to land a solid punch on your brother when the Ford Econoline your traveling in is going from 70mph to stop at a very rapid rate. A glimpse of your Dads face in the rearview mirror tells you that maybe sitting quietly is your best option at this time.

Eventually kids don’t need the rearview mirror as they develop the keen ability to sense a ‘Dad on the Edge’ just by his posture in the driver’s seat. Level one: erect posture. This tells you that you still have time to get a few shots in. Level two: abandons arm rest and grips the wheel with both hands. You’re getting close, at this point you need to decide how important winning the argument is. Level three: the wordless but very unamused glance back. This is your last chance, because level four is where the brakes get a little workout.

I figure I owe my Dad approximately 2,897 pairs of brake pads. So I went all out this Fathers Day. I sent the grandkids to stay with him for a week. Hey, it was his idea. My kids love going to Grandpa and Grandma’s. Being able to run around Lignite is a big treat since they aren’t able to stray to far from my watch here in Rapid City.

The kids called one night after getting home from a fun filled night at the Burke County Fair. After discussing the days events with Sierra I asked her what her brother was doing. She matter of factly informed me that he was playing with his new knife. New knife! He never had an old knife. Where’d he get a new knife, and just how his playing with it? Is he shaving the dog with it, playing pirate poker with Dad, holding up a liquor store? Sierra assured me that it was kind of like a butter knife, quite dull and harmless, she had one too. Oh well in that case.

Thanks for making sure that my kids are as spoiled as I was Dad. Thanks for being everything a Dad and Grandpa should be.